Nudity is Sacred

Painting by Elaine Kantar Williams 

Dear Sanda,

Before I start running my mouth on this issue, I want to believe you are doing well. Each one of us comes from different homes, and obviously our lives will never be the same, judging from the different upbringing and the different environments we find ourselves.

The topic that has caught my attention is about Nudity. Nudity can be explained as a state of not wearing a dress. What is called nudity varies from cultures, each culture is different from the other, but as Africans or Ghanaians, we have great reverence for our nudeness, nudity is sacred and so therefore the notion of protecting it.

African women in general are a group that have so much respect for their nudity and do not expose it so often, except when they are with their husbands, when they are in labour, or are about taking their bath.

Having that at the back of my mind, I pray all those who read this piece will not find faults in my complaints but give the issue a very critical look and advice themselves as women and men alike. We might have sisters who might have being culprits, or it is our daughters doing it.

I was speaking to a colleague on campus who was completely against sharing nude pictures of any kind, he said, even if the individual is your husband and you have kids with him, it’s just not right to share nude picture, adding that what will happen if the phone gets stolen?

My friend traveled to the Middle East not long ago, and the first batch of complaints he had about his roommates was that the young man was receiving nude pictures and videos of his girlfriend from Ghana, yes you read it right. Some of our sisters send nude videos and pictures of themselves to their boyfriends because they have being promised marriage or something else; I have no idea, probably money.

The young man indeed complained, probably he got to see the pictures and videos too, but being the responsible man that he was, he did not encourage his friend to show the young lady’s picture amid their circle of friends.

Indeed as young women and men, our desires and prayers is to get married to good men or women who will take care of us, and together create a very strong bond and start producing our own children. That is almost every average girl’s dreams-- to be successful and finally end up with a responsible man.

I believe entirely, that any man who really loves you and wants to make you his wife will not demand sex from you because after everything, you will finally become his wife, so no need to rush into getting into your panties, vis-à-vis, any man who demands you to send him nude videos or pictures of you does not have the best interest of you at heart.

Far from that, what assurance do you have that he will see the video or pictures alone? Or even if he does watch them alone, what assurance will you have that his friends will not try to steal the phone just to have a look at your pictures.

More often than not, each of us date a man and we believe that our future and fortunes are with them and so therefore we will do everything to make that relationship work, as my friend will tell you, even on the day of the marriage ceremony, the marriage can be called off and you guys may never even reach that process of being called husband to be or wife to be, than to be called husband and wife.

What next, he might have already seen your nudeness and will go ahead to marry the supposed “good girl” or will even tell you that his mother has given him a wife and there is nothing he can do.

Will that video or picture you sent him still be in safe hands? What is the assurance that the next friend who sees it will not upload it to YouTube? Or put the pictures on photo bucket? Or even Instagram.

We are not perfect and might have made many mistakes, we would wish to correct, but that is why we humans and always ask God to forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.

My friend just didn't understand why a beautiful young woman with a great future may behave in that fashion, but I want to believe and understand that it was a sphere of a moment decision which will not repeat itself no matter the situation.

And to these young men who demand nude videos of our sisters, you should not forget that you have sisters, and somewhere in the near future will be fathering daughters; will you be okay to see your daughters or sister sharing their nude pictures with some random guy who has promised them the heavens and the earth?

A heaven and earth which he is most likely to draw the carpet from under their feet or keep his word without trusting her?

I plead with my sisters that a good man who loves you dearly will not need your nudity for anything because he knows in the long run, you will be his wife.

As I stated in my earlier comments, we are all humans and might have done lots of mistakes in the last few years. Does it mean we won’t get our maker’s forgiveness, of course we will when we return to him with repentance and submission, but not to repeat the same mistakes again.

I will end by remembering our brothers that you might think she is a cheap girl who you have at your disposal and can have at your beck and call. Just remember that certain things are mysterious, God is watching you, you may not have sisters today, but you will have daughters in the future.

Just before I go, did any of you read the news making rounds that a young man had placed nude pictures of his girlfriend on Facebook because she broke up with him? That is just by the way, do enjoy your day.

God bless our homeland Ghana and make our men and women more responsible towards each other.
follow @BilkisNuhu on twitter

My Genuine Concerns

Dear Sanda,

I don’t know why am not surprised at what has become a habit of most pedestrians, and if the security agencies have come to notice it yet, if not I advise them to kindly  take their time to observe the disrespect most Ghanaian drivers have for the laws of our country . I dare not say we might end up becoming a lawless country with no respect for rules and regulations.

I might be the one raising the issue, but most of us might have experienced this somewhere, somehow or were the culprits in that situation. It could also be that we did witness it while it happened and overlooked it because it doesn’t concern us. Normally with expressions like, “it is not for me but for the government of Ghana”.

I  have an issue with how some drivers and conductors have made themselves masters of the road and thoughtlessly increase transportation fare when it suits them, and again the Ghanaian attitude of lets live it to God comes to play “it is nothing, live it to God”. 

Again to the issue of how conductors disrespect passengers with the other passengers looking on, unperturbed, the most annoying thing among all this is when they look on without defending you, instead of keeping quiet, they rather support the conductor to take any amount he wants from you and ask you to even alight when you decide you will not pay.

It has become a habit of us and its literally part of us, my friend told me a story of what happened to him when he sat in a bus heading from Madina to Ashaley Botwe, School Junction. My friend was heading to Botwe but there was a woman who sat in the car with her little children and her luggage which were too much on her, and he witnessed when the mate loaded the car and said he was going to School junction. With that in mind the woman sat in the car with her children and belongings.

After the woman sat in the bus and the bus took off, the conductor said he was no more going to School junction but Botwe. My friend said he was so angry that he didn’t know what to do, it has been a recurring habit of conductors to get people for their bus and later deny saying they were going to the destination they mentioned. He told the conductor that since he said he was going to School Junction, he had to drop him and the woman there.

Just then the passengers in the car started complaining that “he” the young man had no business in the issue so why should he make it his problem.

My friend was surprised at the attitude of the people, this is a woman who was in the bus with her luggage and kids and the conductor wants to drop her in the middle of nowhere because the people in the bus have decided to overlook the issue because it doesn’t concern them.

He insisted that he was going to School junction and therefore the conductor and his driver must drive him and the woman to the place. The driver seeing how insistent my friend looked didn’t have a choice than to drive them to School junction.

 After which he helped the woman get her luggage and kids off the bus, when he was sure she was safe, he took a different car back to Botwe.

IT’S CALLED A BUS STOP

Numerous bus stops have been provided on the streets in almost every part of the country, some are so wide and big enough with the indication BUS STOP.

My understanding of the word BUS STOP does not make it a place where cars are to park, because they could have written a CAR PARK but they didn’t. Neither is it a place for selling, but a place where a car will stop at an instant and allow passengers to alight and move to the next bus top.

Well that is my understanding, except the experts see it differently. The police headquarters is the hub  of the POLICE, it’s called the police headquarters(HQ) because it is where all affairs of the police is relayed, but trotro’s have since time immemorial showed gross disrespect to the building .

The HQ is the junction I always alight before I walk school, except in days when I feel richer, I use the Ghana Commercial Bank taxi park which picks student to the Ghana Institute of Journalism and it charges per head.

My problem with the trotro’s and some of the passengers they pick is that, once they get to the Police HQ traffic light, and the red light is on, the Conductor (mate) will get down and ask passengers alighting at HQ to drop in the middle of the road, not caring it is in the middle of the road and anything could happen, most especially that the HQ is facing them right in the face.

The situation is so bad that they do it even when police officers are in the car. Well I don’t see how you can blame them when some of the police officers who are supposed to be the custodians of the law alight in the traffic and cross when the bus stop is just a stone throw from the traffic light.

I just have always thought why that will happen, because if you intend displaying your total disregard for the law, you could do it anywhere but in front of the police headquarters is like standing in the lion’s den and expecting it to live you.

It is really very appalling to see Ghanaians show unpatriotic attitude towards things that belong to the government, with words like it is not for my father or mother so I don’t really care what happens to it, it isn’t for your mother or father but your tax payers money paid for every bit of it so it is yours and you have every right to protect it like it was in your name.

ARE MOTOR CYCLES NOT PART OF TRAFFIC REGULATIONS

It’s just a question that have being in my mind for a very very long time, reason because, if cars stop because the traffic lights are on, the motor cycle drivers will not stop at all, instead you see them driving away, and at certain times hurting a pedestrian who is about crossing the road because the traffic lights are supposed to be on.

If you have used the Karprise road for a number of times, then you will agree with me better, once I left home to go plait my hair in town, my mum knew I was going to Newtown but then, a motor cycle rider came from nowhere and nearly hit me with his bike, even though the traffic lights was on, it was just by grace that I escaped unhurt. I got so angry and just couldn’t understand my bad luck.

I once witnessed a police raid on my way to Ghanaian times, and after I got back to interview the riders, one just told me “when they come for us, they will only waste our time like two or three hours and take like 30gh cedis from you and let you go”.

That was when I realized that some of the police officers are not helping the service, after taking single spine, you still take bribe and will not let some group of people respect the service which has its motor as service with integrity.

Well I think the police should be up and running these days, if you are caught doing what they call the Okada business, you should go to jail. From my point of view, we don’t need to end up like some African countries.

In ending my complaints, or let me just label it my genuine concerns, I believe its high time each Ghanaian learns to be patriotic, and take responsibility of reporting anyone  seen breaking any law at any point in time, you are a stake holder, I am a stake holder, everything we do counts.

Just before I go, what is happening in adding subjects like “patriotism” to our junior siblings in the primary school? Indeed we need patriotic citizens and the children have to be instilled with that from the primary school. Y3 Oman ba pa.